How We Fuel the Misperception of True Beauty

When I see a talented and beautiful woman like Kelly Clarkson on the cover of a magazine, and the headline is about her weight, it really ticks me off! What a terrible message we are accepting into our minds.


Why am I so upset? Why do I continue to openly criticize the media for calling women that look like women fat? Because it is perpetuating a lie and contributing to a host of body image issues that continue to lower a woman’s self-esteem.


We are subconsciously being programmed, what we hear and see repeatedly is entered into our minds and crossing the critical filter, if at any level we relate to or validate that message we allow it in. Each time we give that message a pass to enter our mind, it becomes stronger and stronger. This all happens in less than a second. Before you know it you have a solid belief about something you have never even consciously thought about.


To make my point, think about caviar. What comes to your mind? High society functions? Wealthy people with rich taste? Whatever comes to your mind, I am willing to bet you didn’t deliberately place it there; it was influenced from either a firsthand experience or – more than likely – the media.


You are being programmed. The question becomes: Do you agree with the message?


Here is my plea: Please stop validating that healthy weight women are fat. Someone gaining weight does not mean they are fat or that they have a weight problem. It simply means they gained weight. It’s not an invitation for all of us to gather round and talk about them.


The only reason the media is putting women like Kelly Clarkson or a Kardashian sister on magazines and calling them fat is because we are buying into this crap. If we stopped buying that garbage, the magazines wouldn’t sell. If they don’t sell, they would change the cover to something that would.


Now it is not entirely the media’s fault. We only have ourselves to blame.


What sells is a reflection of the consumer – and that consumer is you or me. People are agreeing with the message when they make that purchase. Our young women are seeing us behave this way and they unconsciously belief that we agree with the message. The result is an unattainable or unrealistic expectation of what a woman’s body should look like.


Self-esteem sinks lower due to feelings of inadequacy that won’t go away with weight loss because the bar is always being moved higher and higher (while the weight moves lower and lower).


Oh, a few will redefine themselves by creating an internal definition of beauty and settle into their own skin. We should applaud those women.  My prayer for you is that you become one of those women. Of course I want you to be healthy and maintain your ideal weight; I just don’t want you to buy the lie being fed by Hollywood and the insatiable media machine.


You are beautiful at whatever weight you are.


I have to admit another reason why am I so frustrated: I have been taking time away from my family, multiple times per week, since 2002 to write about topics that could help women create healthier and happier lives. I do this to help educate people and coach them knowing it won’t show up on a magazine cover. It more than likely won’t even be read. Why? Because magazines promote what sells.


Helping people make peace with their bodies and loving themselves doesn’t sell.


I know you know what I am saying is true. So, please stop feeding this cancer in our society. Stop giving your money and power to unhealthy messages that are perpetuating the problem. What would happen if we decided we are only going to invest our time and money in reading magazines that will enrich our life and not ones that tear down someone else?


It is a simple proposition. I am asking you to join me in not buying magazines that are exploiting someone’s weight gain. Let’s collectively send a message to Hollywood.


Women are beautiful when they are true to themselves.



Coach Rosa has been teaching people how to train their brain to create a healthier, happier mind and body for more than 20 years. She has an extensive background in hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic Programming — the science that deals with the fundamental dynamics between mind and language and how their interplay affects body and behavior. Learn more about Coach Rosa at


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